So, I don't think I ever really explained why I named my little blog here "Finding Contentment". I kind of explain in my profile to the right. When I was preparing to teach that class at church a couple weeks ago I felt like I should address my so called journey to contentment. So here is what I shared in the class:
As I approached motherhood, I was encouraged to search my heart and deal with sin issues that would hinder me raising my children. I always knew I was a worrier, as far back as I can remember I worried. I like so many others had believed that worrying was normal, everybody worries right? In a conversation with my mom I asked her what I was like when I was little she said lots of sweet things, and one thing stuck out. She told me I was kind of whiny. I don't know about you but there a few things harder to hear than you are whiny. Nobody like whiners and nobody wants to be labeled as one. I also realized that the Proverbs discuss wives who whine. What do I mean? Nagging. I began a journey with two dear friends into this concept of worry, whining, and nagging. As I studied with them I began to realize my language was all wrong. I wasn't just a worrisome person. I was discontent. My discontentment was lack of satisfaction in my situation around me. Here are some examples of my racing mind and discontentment. I worried when Mike was out of town that someone might break in. I worried that my aches and pains before I was diagnosed with RA were MS, Lupus, or Cancer. I worried if I was pregnant, that I might miscarry. I worried that if I had kids that they would get lost or hurt. My mind rarely focused on the goodness and grace from God above. My mind raced constantly about what might happen.
Our worries reveal our lack of faith. When we think about something more than we do about our Lord and Savior, we are not trusting God to be God. Our worries become idols
I was making an idol out of what might happen in my life. My worry was causing me to sin.
Webster's Dictionary defines Contented as :
Feeling or showing satisfaction with one's situation
My definition of Contentment is :
Satisfaction with one's situation, because of their trust in Christ
Flash forward to pregnancy. It was a time that I could have given in to my temptations and worried and I did some but I had victory and growth. I was learning to be content in Christ alone. Our dear friends, Rob and Chandi Plummer encouraged us to pray daily for our babies contentment, that she would be content before she was born and throughout her life. You see I wasn't getting over my worry to check it off my list before I had a baby. I was fighting my tendency to worry so that they themselves wouldn't grow to be discontent.
Due to my RA and my hip being a problem area. I was scheduled for a c-section. Mike being an amazing student and supportive husband watched a documentary and knew how the c-section should go. He talked me through it and told me it was pretty quick, just about 10 minutes. Prior to leaving for the hospital I printed up from the bible:
Philippians 4:4-8 4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.As soon as they began the surgery I began reciting verses 6 and 7. My C-section was an unusual one. Due to the size of our Dorothy and the size of her head they could not get her out. Mike and the anesthesiologist were all I could see. They were both in a panic. I think it's normal for a husband to be anxious but pretty unusual for the anesthesiologist to seem worried.
I kept reciting verses 6-7 as if to assure them that all was going to be OK. The peace of God was protecting me at that moment. I knew that my doctor was yelling, I knew that there was chaos all around me but God was protecting me. I was free from worry because I had finally learned to put ALL my trust in God. After about 25 minutes they had Dorothy out safe and sound. I got to see her and when I did I saw the most beautiful baby. The pediatric neurologist was quickly on hand to tell Mike and I they were going to check her head. I was like OK. I wonder if they thought I didn't care, or didn't understand but that wasn't it. God was working in my mind covering me with his peace, reminding that he was in control. Praise God for how he grew me and protected me and praise God that Dorothy is perfectly healthy.
I share this all with you so that you might be encouraged in your own journey with contentment or if there is another issue in your life that is preventing you from be the parent, spouse, or person Christ has called you to be. Know that the power of God and his word will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
